To Dave, From Jeana- Merry Christmas

To Father, From Daughter

What makes a Father-Daughter bond so strong?

Is it a biological thread that makes us belong?

Do genetics, chromosomes, and heredity from the start

Determine what ultimately makes up our heart?

If this is true, than look no farther;

I’m simply a mixture of my father and mother

Is that the only answer of what make me, me?

Or could I have fallen farther from the tree?

Wasn’t I shy and afraid of everything new?

Wasn’t I the quiet girl that didn’t have a clue?

No goals and no ideas of what I could be.

But you had a way of seeing way beyond me.

You showed me the world was so much larger.

And that never trying just made things harder.

You watched me fail and make mistake after mistake.

Never letting me fall completely flat on my face

 When I look in the mirror, it’s you that I see

Not so much physically, but spiritually.

We have the same flaws, same restlessness, and dry wit.

There’s an understanding here that some just don’t get.

What does “step” father mean anyway?

Does it mean you are a step lower or step farther away?

Does it define you as having less worth?

Simply because you didn’t witness my birth?

I know without a doubt that biology doesn’t matter

It’s not what makes up a father and daughter

It’s investment in time, in laughter, and pain

It’s more than sharing a person’s last name.

Genetics has nothing to do with what’s real

It’s your imprint on my soul that sealed the deal

Now it’s my time to show all I’ve learned

Now that the tables have finally turned.

I will be here for you, as you’ve been there for me

In sickness and in health or whatever it may be

When you look in my eyes, don’t look any harder

What you will see is a daughter’s love for her father.

Dave Update-December 22, 2010

Dave, Carol, Dexter, & Shelby



Hi family and friends, first I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.  I hope everyone enjoys their family time together and cherish every moment as we celebrate the birth of Christ.  This is such a special Christmas for my family as we will all be together for the first time in many years.  I want to thank my baby brother and his family for taking this trip from Washington so we can all be together.  I know this is a sacrifice for them and we are out of our minds excited. 

Dave and my Mom went to Standford on December 15 to meet with a specialist about options we have for treatment.  Dave and my mom really liked the doctor, but naturally felt overwhelmed with all the information and choices they will have to make in the near future.  Since the beginning, an agressive approach has been taken to fight Dave's cancer and that seems to be the continued concesus on how to proceed in the future.  The doctor went over the different options, such as clinical trials and stem cell transplantation.  In mid January, Dave will have his bone marrow tested so we can see exactly how well he has responded to the chemotherapy.  After doing much research and talking to others whose family members has multiple myeloma, I have to tell you we have been blessed.  Sometimes its hard to not feel sorry for yourself when your family is fighting something like this, but then you realize some have had it so much harder.   Dave has been blessed with no lesions on his spine which often makes it more difficult for patients to be mobile, he's been lucky to have minimal side effects from the chemo, hasn't lost much hair (tee, hee), and has felt well enough to go to work.  I personally believe this is a gift from God based on all your prayer and also a testament to Dave's spirit and strength.  Dave will start his next round of chemo (5th) with a goal of completing 8.  Dave has made it clear that he plans to review and research his options and look at all the pros and cons before making a determination of what is next.  Stem cell transplantation is a big consideration and a lengthy process.  In Dave's case, if he choses stem cell transplantation he would most likely use his own stem cells.  If he does this he would be have to go to the hospital prior to the transplant and go through a process called "harvesting".  He would then go back at a later time to have the actual transplant.  I will let you know the specifics of if and when this is determined.

If you are interested in learning more about the process of stem cell transplantation, please click on the following link:  http://www.cancercenter.com/video/treatments-technology/stem-cell-transplants/autologous
This is a video from a different institute than Stanford, but offers a easy to understand video. 

Thank you to my mom and grandparents who have shown great love, support, and care for Dave.  I have a lot of respect for my mom after watching her be a partner to Dave.  She's a take-no-prisoners kind of gal and doesn't like to listen to any noinsence of doom and gloom when it comes to this.  She's has strength I didn't know she had.  She's amazing.  I have to say, there is nothing like be taking care of by my mom.  Even as an adult, when I'm sick I still want my mom.  Dave is very lucky. 

Much love and joy to you and yours.  We are hopeful that 2011 will continue to bring our family blessings and an appreciation for life.

December 9, 2010- Dave Update

Happy Holiday to family and friends,  I know it has been awhile since I've sent out an update, but medically there wasn't a lot new to report.  Dave continues his series of chemo treatments.  Currently, he is on his fourth round of eight.  His blood work continues to be normal and he hasn't had any major side effects from the chemo (Praise the Lord).  He's been busy at work, getting in a little golfing here and there, and preparing for Christmas.  We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving as a family and look forward to a very special Christmas this year.  My brother Ben and his family are coming for Christmas from Washington and we couldn't be more excited.
On Wednesday, December 15, my mom and Dave head to Stanford for a consoltation.  According to Stanford's website, "Our specialists at the Cancer Center not only treat multiple myeloma, but have expertise managing complex cases, and offer the most advanced diagnostic technologies and treatments available today."  Dave's doctor has been in regular communication with Standford since his diognosis and with their expertise will come up with the best plan for us.  I say "us" because Dave is NOT in this fight alone.  My husband always says when things are rough we need to circle the wagon.  I told Dave to consider himself "the wagon".  As I've said in previous blogs, stem cell transplantation is an agressive treatment that "we" will be considering.  But it really is too early to say for sure until Dave consults with Stanford's specialists.   There are a lot of factors that go in to determining if and when stem cell transplantion can occur.  But according to most of my research this is our best chance for prolonged remission.  Stay tuned.  I'll update you after Dave's consultation. 

Recently, there was multiple myeloma patient featured on The Early Show.  This is a wonderful story of hope and also a tribute to the amazing research that is being done to find a cure for multiple myeloma.  Please click on the following link to learn more. 

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/40470915#40470915

Praise God for the beauty of life, the gift of family, and for foresaking his only son so that we may experience the true essence of unconditional love. 

Jesus Is the Reason

In Bethlehem, God gave to us
The source of Christmas joy;
A star shown on a miracel:
The virgin birth of a boy.

He was born both God and man,
A Savior for us all,
The way to get to our heavenly home,
iIf we just heed His call.

So as we shop and spend and wrap
And enjoy the Christmas season,
Let's keep in mind the sacred truth:
Jesus is the reason.

Dave Update-November 15, 2010

Hi all, just a short Dave update.  The good news is Dave's blood work continues to be normal as of last Thursday.  He has chemo today so we will possibly get another update then.  He will finish his third round of eight next week.  After that, they will check all his blood including his bone marrow to see where we are in terms of killing the myeloma.  The ultimate goal is to get Dave in remission and then we will go from there.  A consultation with Standford is next on the horizon where we can determine if stem cell transplantation is the best solution.  At a later date, I will update on stem cell trasplantation, but at this point we have a ways to go before those options are discussed.  Dave returned to work last week and business has been steady.  Thank you to Dave Benson and staff for holding down the fort and helping our family while we start this journey of healing.  As Thanksgiving is next week, I thought it would be nice if everyone shared what they are thankful for this year.  You can share by clicking on the comments section below.

I am thankful for God's grace.  I am thankful for my amazing family.  I am thankful for all the small treasures that we often take for granted.  Much love.  Jeana

November 4, 2010-Update

Hello all, where to begin?  First of all, as of Thursday, Dave's blood counts came back normal!  This is a good thing.  For the most part he had a good last week.  He gained a pound, yay!!  I bet he never thought he'd be excited about actually gaining weight, but eating has not been as issue since Dave's diagnosis.  He invited me to what I though was his chemo therapy on Thursday.  I wanted to go so I could be a part of everything, including his treatments.  When I got there, Dave was sleeping.  I guess they gave him so good drugs because they knocked him out.  It was not what I expected.  It was very homey, with reclining chairs.  There was three other patients hooked up getting chemo treatments.  It was hard not to stare because the room was not that big.  It's interesting.  When you are going through this, you feel so alone and then you see all these other patients going through the same thing.  Several of the women there were losing their hair or bald.  From what Dave has told me some of the women that he has met have breast cancer.  Dave has not lost any hair.  I know.  I know.  What hair?  But seriously, the hair he has-he has not lost.  What I thought was Dave's second weekly chemo treatment was in fact "replacement immunoglobulin therapy.  Ya, easy for me to say.  What was funny when I ask the nurse what Dave was having done, she couldn't even say it.  I guess from what I understand Dave had abnormal or inefficient immunoglobulins (IgG) which is needed to fight infections.  So, Dave's treatment is two weeks on chemo (twice a week-short office visit) and on he third week (which is his off chemo week) he has this replacement therapy which last 2-3 hours.  Because Dave was in the hospital they are a bit off schedule so in reality Dave has a full week of nothing next week, yay.  Depending on how he feels, he might get back to work on Monday.

I'd love to share a few "god" moments I had last week with you all.  On Thursday, before Dave's appointment I went in to have my very first mamogram.  This is one of the great benefits of turning 40!  I was putting it off until Dave shared his story about the women with breast cancer that he met.  Anyway, while I was waiting in the waiting room, this woman was called up.  I could overhear her telling the receptionist she had no insurance.  She was probably in her last 50's.  As she sat down across from me, I could see the stress and fear on her face.  I watched her.  I have a tendency to do this....  She had her eyes closed and I could see her lips moving.  As I looked closer, I could tell she was praying.  A friend gave me a prayer book that I keep with me.  It has the prayer that I placed at the bottom of this blog and is my special prayer for Dave.  I reached in my purse and wrapped my fingers around the book.  I told myself, when I get called for my appointment I am going to walk up to that lady and give her my special prayer book.  I was ready.  My heart raced a bit.  I heard my name being called.  I paused, got up....and walked right past the lady.  When I got into the examining room, I was so angry at myself.  I call myself spiritually shy.  That day I called myself a spiritual coward!  I missed a God moment.  I was being pushed by God to do something for someone else and I walked right on by. 

When I got home, I was still upset with myself.  I got on the computer and was looking through my emails when I saw I received a facebook message from a girl named Heather from Kentucky.  I facebooked Heather a day earlier when I saw that she had posted that her mom was just diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma on a Myeloma facebook page.  I sent her a message telling her that my dad has the same disease and that I would prayer for her family.  She sent me the sweetest email that I have to share with you.  First though, I must tell you that I believe this was another God moment.  When you read her message, she says that me contacting her was an act of God.  I must say to Heather, her sending me this beautiful note was the God moment I was seeking earlier in the day and passed by.  She gave to me what I wanted to give to that lady at the doctor's office.  I hope that this message touches your heart as much as it did mine.  Please send a special prayer to Heather, her mother, and her family.  She is now a part of the "Kiss It" Cancer club:  Heather's message below.

Re: Myeloma Friend

i just wanted to let you know that i was talking to my mother about the gift from god that i reacieved to day and she was stund she said you and your family was sent from the great lord above i want to let you know that we are also praying for you andn your family and it does not matter the time of day or the time of nite if you need someone to talkn to I WILL BE HERE everything goes straight to my phone so i will always know when you send me a message. i will never be able to thank you for becoming my friend i never knew that someone would need me just the same please let your father know that my mother ginny chestnut from ky is praying for him and my father said that you all was a touch from gods hand. here we are all the way across the country and out of millions of people you find us the ones whom are starting this long journey that you and your family has done began..... your myeloma friend forever, heather from ky

November 1, 2010 update

Happy November to everyone.  Dave finally got the tubes out of his neck last week.  The "tubes" were put in to hook him up for his plasmapheresis treatments that he had while he was in the hospital.  The doctor taking them out is a good sign that they don't believe he is in any need for any immediate treatments.  You can barely see the marking where it previously was, although I told him it kind of looks like a permanent hickey.  Dave is looking "fab" and I believe from what I can see he is feeling "pretty good".  We spend last night with Dave and my mom and Dave dressed up as...  Well, I really don't know what he was.  He had a donkey nose, but I don't want to be rude and say he was a "jack ass", but....wink, wink.  We had a great time.  It's been family tradition to go over to mom and Dave's with the kids on Halloween for years.  Typically, Dave and my husband take the kids trick or treating while my mom and I drink wine and give out candy.  This year, Dave wanted to hand out the candy (and scare unsuspecting children).  I believe it had something to do with the World Series playing, but... We had a great time anyway and these are memories I will always cherish.  It's funny how these little traditions gather so much meaning when a family member is hit with an illness.  Dave continues chemo this week; today and also Thursday.  Hopefully he will blog later this week and let you all know a little more about his numbers.  Much love and thanks for your continued support.  Family is precious...Don't let a day go by that you don't love, forgive, and feel hope.  Jeana

October 25th, 2010

First of all I want to thank everyone who came to visit me in the hospital, those that sent me cards, those that said they would pray for me, my wife, Mom and Dad for being there regularly and bringing me food from the outside world.  The hospital food wasn't too bad but VP, Rosa's, Mexican, Chinese, etc. made the experience more enjoyable.

I have been out for 2 and a 1/2 weeks now.  Gaining strength, getting rest and recovering quite well.  Blood test results have continued to improve overall and am feeling fairly normal.  I am now in my second 2 week phase of chemo which is a nightly revlimid pill and twice a week trip to Dr. Bryson's for am injection.  There is a once a month intravenous procedure that lasts about 3 to 5 hours.  Anyway, enough about me...what about you.
Thanks to all of you who responded to the blog also. 
Everyones kind thoughts, prayers and concerns have been wonderful medicine for my heart.  Now if it will just work on the MM too.
Love to all, Dave

October 13, 2010-Update

Hi family and friends, Dave has been chilling at home since Saturday.  On Sunday, I went for a visit and he wasn't home.  I asked my mom, "Where's Dave?"  She said, "Ben and him went to Colimas for breakfast."  Seriously, he just got out of the hospital!  This man is made of steel!  Appetite has not been an issue.  This week Dave does not have chemo.  It's two weeks on, one week off.  His doctor is monitoring him daily as an outpatient, so there has been daily doctor appointments.  Dave has had many special visitors since being home. This weekend, he had a visit from his cousin and yesterday a visit from his sister Linda.  Ben went back to Washington on Monday, but will be returning for Christmas. 

October 9, 2010- Dave is Released from the Hospital

Good news family and friends:  Dave is home from the hospital.  Blood work looks good and Dave is enjoying the fresh air in his backyard.  He will go in for a follow-up with his doctor on Monday.  Still grasping this whole process and as soon as we understand everything we will let you know.  Today, we will enjoy the beauty of the day and appreciate all that God has blessed us with. 

What is Myeloma?

October 7, 2010- All blood work normal!

Good news from the hospital.  Dave's current blood work is normal, including his potassium level!  Do I know specifically what this means?  No.  But I do know that "normal" is where we want to be.  Tomorrow Dave will have his last Plasmapheresis treatment so we are all crossing our fingers for a Saturday release.  We will keep you posted.

October 6- Day 8-Hospital Stay

October 6, 2010

Hi there family and friends.  Day 8 of the hospital stay and it looks like it is getting extended.  They have one more "plasmapheresis" treatment which I believe they are doing today or tomorrow and he is still of the potasium drip.  Needless to say, he is bumbed because the playoffs start today (baseball, right?) and his tv doesn't get that channel.  You men and your sports.  My husband is hooking him up with a lap top (beneift of having an IT guy in the family) so he can catch the games.  He didn't sleep too good last night so he's a little pooped today, but looks great!  Feel free to call Dave or my mom if you like to visit to see if he is up for it.  This guy is so loved and has so many wonderful family and friends, I actually text him for an appointment, wink, wink.

October 5, 2010- Hospital Update

I heard from Dave this morning.  He says that he met with the doctor who stated that his blood work is improving in most areas.  He continues his chemotherapy and has one more treatment of  Plasmapheresis (see definition below).  This is Dave's last treatment in a series of five.  While his blood counts are improving, his potasium level is still low which they are treating.  Low potasium in not unusual for Dave's condition.  Dave has a very special visitor all the way from Washington this morning, my brother Ben.  Ben, although not biological can not be better defined other than Dave's "son".  I wish I could be there for their reunion.  I can guarantee you it will be a beautiful sight.

I'm trying to get more information and a better grasp on what is going on so I can inform you better.  I told Dave this morning I might have to make his Doctor my next husband (sorry honey) just to have time with him to pick his brain. 

Lesson Learned:  Life is precious.  Love the one you are with.  Quit looking for the greener grass on the other side.  And God is good. 

Plasmapheresis

If too many M-proteins build up in the blood, causing the blood to become too thick, the patient's blood may need to be filtered through a special machine in a process called plasmapheresis. The patient's blood is transfused, and blood plasma is removed, discarded, and replaced with donated blood proteins. The procedure relieves symptoms but does not kill the cancer cells.

Diagnosis- September, 2010

1st Post-October 3, 2010

 

Welcome to the newly formed "Kiss it Cancer" club.  It was my attempt at stating in a less crass manner that Multiple Myeloma can Kiss my ***.  When we heard Dave was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, our first thought was what the heck is this, how bad is it, and how can we fight it.  I'm sure by now many of you have done some reseach on this cancer to understand it better.  I've started this club for family and friends of Dave to share information, reseach, prayers, and updates on his condition.

First and foremost, my Mom and I would like to thank all of you for your loving concern.  I'm not surprised to see how many people are shocked, frightened, and concerned about Dave's condition.  I told him that I would have to call in advance to make an appointment to visit him since he has had so many visitors. 

 

DIAGNOSIS:

 

Dave went in over two weeks ago to get blood work done after suffering nose bleeds that wouldn't stop.  It was with those results that the doctors found an "abnormalty" in his blood work and asked him to come in for more testing, eventually including bone marrow testing.  Based on many tests to confirm disease and "stage" it, Dave was told he had Stage IIIb Multiple Myeloma.  There are three stages in this disease, Stage III obviously being far into the disease.  Dave immediately started Chemo on September 27 and being the Super Hero that he is went to work the next day.  When he came home at the end of the day, he was achy and feverish and my Mom, after consulting with the doctor, took him to the hospital.  Dave has been there ever since.  Infection and the affects of the disease itself is the cause for this stay.