Hello friends and family, I know so many of you are thinking about Dave and my mom and they certainly needs your positive thoughts and prayers.
Dave has been in the hospital since Saturday. Unfortunately, three weeks into the new chemo combo and there has been no improvement, but Dave's health continues to deteriorate as he fights the cancer itself and all the many side affects and damage done by the medication meant to heal him.
The best analogy I can give is that Dave is like a pitcher of water that has many holes. Every time you cover one hole up with a finger another starts to leak. We are running out of fingers as we keep getting more and more holes.
I'm so happy that many of you stopped by to see him and my mom last week. I know he loved seeing his cousins and his beloved Aunt Wana. We had a little birthday celebration for him on February 1 and although he was tired, he came out to visit with me, my brother Vern and his family, his sister Linda, and momma. I think he was a bit overwhelmed with the amount of people, but it did make my mom happy to have some of her kids there.
The swelling in Dave's legs, feet, and ankles is extreme. He probably has about 20-30 pounds of water retention that water pills won't touch. This has made walking very uncomfortable for him. We found out the swelling has to do with congestive heart failure.
Heart failure does not mean his heart has stopped working, but that is not pumping as good as it should. This has caused his kidneys to respond by causing the body to retain water and salt, thus the fluid retention. Another symptom is congested lungs which they have found some fluid in one of his lungs. This has caused him to have some difficulty with breathing. He has also had a rapid heart rate because his heart is attempting to pump enough blood to the body.
Dave has not been eating which isn't helping the edema (swelling of body tissues). He is having difficulty swallowing. The issues with swallowing has not only made it difficult for him to eat, but also difficult to take his medication. Yesterday when I visited him at the hospital, we were told that he has bronchitis. The nurse tried to give him an oral antibiotic, but Dave struggled to take it. They sent a speech therapist over to get more information and assess his eating and drinking. They are trying adjust his diet to liquid and softer foods.
The reason he is in the hospital, among the fact that he needed infusions of platelets and red blood cells is the doctor has decided to try pheresis. This is a procedure where the patients blood is drawn, separated into certain elements and then replaced back in the body. Dave had this done when he was initially diagnosed and was going into kidney failure. It saved his life. We are hopeful that the procedure will at a minimum relieve the swelling and make him more lucid. It won't help the multiple myeloma, but it can help his body want to fight the cancer.
Have you felt like there was a crack in your heart? I can literally feel my heart slowly breaking as I watch this man I adore fighting such a fierce opponent. I have never felt this type of pain before. I understand the circle of life and I know this is part of it, but having cancer is a cruel fate.
I feel angry. Angry at GOD! I have yelled and screamed and cried in my car driving home. This isn't how things were supposed to happen. I was supposed to take care of Dave in his old age. His grandma lived to over 100 and my grandpa to 90. Why did Dave have to get cancer at 56! And spend the last 6 years literally fighting for his life. And fight he has. He is my hero. He is the bravest man I know. He has not given up. Even would I would have. He still has places he wants to go. It's not necessarily new places, but he loves to share places with people he loves. He told me the other night he would like to go back to Switzerland and Fiji. I wish I could make that happen for him.
Many of you know the heart and spirit of my dad. He is the life of the party. To see him so vulnerable, weak, confused, and scared is causing the crack in my heart to grow deeper. I miss him! I want him back! I don't want him to leave me! It hurts so bad! I try to be strong when I'm with him and my mom, but....
He wants to go home. Every time my mom is with him he asks to go home. He doesn't want to be at the hospital anymore. I don't blame him. He's got a port in his neck, blood constantly being drawn, infusions, chemo; honestly too many things to list. I feel selfish to ask for a miracle. Why would God do that for our family when there are so many more people praying for the same thing.
Dave finished his first treatment last night and is about the same today. He will be there at least 4 more nights for the treatment and more after he gets out. The doctor is taking it day by day and we will keep placing our fingers on each hole in the pitcher under there are no more fingers left.
You can text my mom if you would like to send Dave a message. She will read them to him. He is pretty tired and overwhelmed with all the treatments and not up to too many visitors, but know he appreciates you well wishes and love.
Hugs
Jeana
No comments:
Post a Comment